#4 - Mary

Yesterday, I had a Date with Mary. Mary is my best friend. We met when we were 10 years old and were completely different people. She had short brown hair, dressed like a boy and was the most positive person I knew. All of these things changed now, 15 years later. In fact, she was so positive, that it was almost ridiculous. She was known for her optimism and she never seemed to be angry or have a bad day, which led to her earning the really weird nickname – considering we all speak German – smileygirl. Mary, the smileygirl.

When we were 10 years old, none of us knew who we were. We were too young for an existential crisis. Our biggest concerns were the math test next week, the boy in the last row, or our annoying siblings. I didn’t see beyond the smiles of smileygirl for a long time. It took me nearly 8 more years to see the real Mary - a Mary who could get mad, scream at you, and even cry. But still under all her anger and sadness she would force herself to smile. It was a weird facial expression. Her eyes and words were harsh, but under her pretty lips with a small mole in the middle she would still try to smile. She was trying so hard to stay smileygirl for years .

However, it wasn´t a genuine smile anymore. Actually, it was the opposite. Literally. It looked like an upside down smile. She could say something like “Valentina, why do you do this? This is so rude and stupid.” And still smile. Needless to say, it was difficult for me (and everyone else) to take her seriously, when she looked like a maniac. Why was Mary so afraid of negative emotions? Why couldn´t she admit that the world is not only a beautiful and positive place? Mary kept this façade for a very long time. But time is changing you and there is absolutely nothing we can do about it. So eventually Mary dyed her hair, dressed like a business woman and became a normal amount of positive. That’s where we stand today.

I met Mary in the café over the library where we used to go for the view, not for the library. She greeted me with joy but I didn’t see the spark in her eyes. She was there before me, what was already really weird, because Mary is always late. Then she slowly started to talk, and I don’t mean, it took her some time until she started talking, Mary talks really slow. She would tell me about her job situation and how it didn’t look good. She didn’t have a job since a few months and for a self employed person this can be a disaster. But Mary wouldn´t be Mary if she wasn’t trying to hide it with her famous smile. But you could tell how hard she had to try. She said, the only job she had was a music video and that they still didn’t pay her. “Sue them!” Was my hothead reaction. She tried to smile with this weird maniac smile and told me that it´s not so easy. Instead of helping her to figure that out what to do or to encourage her, I told her what I think she did wrong. How she is too nice to everyone. And that people will take advantage of young and naïve women. Overall, without a contract she shouldn’t even raise a finger. She might try to smile it away but the world is not full of smileygirls. The world is cruel and mean and if they have the chance to, they will exploit you. After my depressive prep talk I took the first sip of my coffee without spilling something. I saw the desperation in her eyes and that I was absolutely not helping. I looked in her beautiful brown Bambie eyes and said, that they will pay her for sure and everything is going to be fine. There it was – her real smile.

To prove that everything is going to be fine we ordered a piece of cake while Mary told me about her new movie idea. Mary is a director, but also writes the stories and the dialogues. Her newest project was about two kids, one of them turns blind and in the last scene they sit in a tree. I know – what a perfect description of a movie. Eventually Mary asked me if I could organize a crane, maybe from the company my Dad worked in, to help the two kids up the dangoerously high tree. Obviously, she would need this favour to be free. I drank a sip of my cappuccino and spilled a little bit of it. Not because I was so surprised that Mary would ask for something so impossible, but just because I spill a lot of things. “They won´t give it to you for free though.” Mary also took a very slow sip of her coffee and didn’t spill. Maybe because her movements are so much slower than mine. Peacefully she replied “But maybe they will, if I ask them very nicely.”

A few weeks later Mary sent me a picture of the kids on a tree. I was more than surprised, that she got a massive crane from a random company. Apparently, the first company she asked “very nicely” gave her a crane just for the mentioning of them in her movie. I couldn´t help but laugh and be happy for her of yourse but as I was walking home, I felt bad for telling her, that she is too naïve and too positive. Who am I to tell her that? She follows her dreams and if she is “too nice” it does nothing but help her. Still, I feel like the disaster with the payment of the music video would not have happened to me. But on the other hand, the sponsoring of the crane would maybe not have happened to me either.

Of course, there will always be people who exploit the good. But just like Mary, we should never forget that there are the same amount of people (if not more) who will help the good. Instead of telling Mary not to be too trusting and stupidly positive all the time, I should try to be more like her and believe in the good in people. And even though Mary never got the 1000€ from the music video, she did get an award for her outstanding movie with two kids on a tree - sponsored by the crane company. The world might not be full of smileygirls like Mary, but there are sure enough to make it a beautiful place.